It’s 2014.
Heck.
I never
made any New Year’s Resolutions for 2014, I already know I have personality
traits which I need to alter and a new year doesn't change them (worrying -
a lot, feeling guilty even when there is nothing I can do about a situation – a
lot, worrying about feeling guilty …and letting these things stop me from being
me, and from doing what I want to do).
And I want
to be happy, you can't really resolve to do that.
In 2013 my
resolution was ‘to be braver’ and I’m not entirely sure how I did on that to be
honest. I guess there were some small aspects
of it which I succeeded, I joined a gym (and
actually didn’t feel self conscious, stupid or out of place), I said yes
more than no (thanks for the advise FT –
“You just got used to saying no, so get up and get outside”), and I took
down my guard at times (I’m great at
advocating for others, not so great at following my own advice). 2013, although it contained some highlights (a birthday weekend including seeing Bruce
Springsteen and Neil Young was one), was a rubbish year for a lot of
people close to me - too many loses, too many tears and too much upset.
For me and
a lot of others it is time to look forward and to think of 2013 as providing
experience that makes you who you are today.
The one
thing which has featured in New Year resolution consideration in both years is
this blog. I enjoy it, but never felt like I was good enough to write it. The
focus on music/gigs is done much better by others and I, whilst I will chat
away to anyone and have a lot of friends and acquaintances, am actually quite a
private person. I’m not sure my general thoughts and experiences warrant
internet space.
So, where
does this leave me and where does it leave this blog?
Well, I
don’t really want to abandon it, though it must feel abandoned. I’m not sure
how it will develop; it’s likely to be more of my rambling than anything on
specific topic or theme such as specific gigs. To be honest, I don’t really
know who reads it, or why they read it, so I’m just going to keep it as a
stream of consciousness.
2014 looks
like it could be a good year. For a start there’s been more smiling around me
and by me (so far), Pearl Jam are touring Europe again this summer
(didn’t really think I could do a blog post
and not mention them did you?), I’ve already managed to visit a new place (Cardiff – yay for visiting Wales!) and I’ve
been lucky enough to see Frank Turner (amazing
gig, do see him, and his support acts, if you’ve a chance, the night made my
heart smile and my feet dance – I wish I was seeing him again this tour),
plus there are other things in my diary for the year which make me continue to smile.
In
hindsight, maybe being happy should have been my resolution (along with helping
to make others happy). There are some
days when trivial things get me down, and I shouldn’t let them, but these
things really shouldn’t impact on my overall happiness, or writing this blog.
So, hello
‘A Breath and a Scream blog’ – long time no see!
