I've often thought about writing a blog, why anyone would want to read it is beyond me, but I enjoy writing and this I hope will provide an outlet of some sort.
Today on Twitter I saw a tweet from the editor of Kerrang, about how bands influence your life. In 2010 I went on my first 'tour' to see a band, Pearl Jam. (You'll hear more about them if you read anymore of my posts!)
I wrote this sitting in an airport terminal in summer 2010, at the end of that tour, it is full of grammatical errors, but it is as I wrote it, how the words hit the page.
Have a read, you might get to know me a little better....
July 2010
Well, here I am sitting at Manchester
Airport, waiting for my flight home to
Cornwall. For
the first time ever, I do not want to go back.
Yes, home means seeing the family and friends that I have
missed, but it also means the end of a most amazing journey and experience.
Just over two weeks ago, I once again sat in an airport, but then it was in Newquay,
and I nearly never got on that flight to Dublin.
It was a very different feeling and reason though, it was because I was scared,
nervous and anxious about what I was about to undertake. I’d loved this band
since was 11, seeing them for the first time in Manchester 2009, but this was
different. It was a very bizarre combination of feelings because I didn’t know
what to expect.
What I certainly didn’t expect, was to have the time of my life...
Arriving in Dublin,
and overcoming my first hurdle of finding my hotel (though it was the day I
left the city before I could open my own bedroom door!) the panic subsided; from
then on I was immersed in the wonderful world of Pearl Jam touring.
Dublin was
special; it was all about meeting people for the first time (though many I
considered friends via the internet before this). It was great to put faces and
proper names to the avatars and forum names which were more familiar. It amazed
me how such close bonds were made in the run up to the tour. I was amongst people
of all nationalities, backgrounds and ages, some travelling thousands of miles
to be there.
Anyway, this initiation into Pearl Jam touring involved a couple of pubs
somewhere in Temple Bar, drinks in the Hard Rock Cafe, invading an tour of
Dublin Castle for American tourists, the Guinness Factory and a fantastic pre
party which, I seem to remember more of thanks to photos emerging on Facebook
(...hmmm...I really should have known better than to drink so much!!)
After my hangover cleared on gig day (and despite the boys eating food in front
of me – bleurgh!), soon 10 Club tickets were in hand and we waited patiently in
line at the designated entrance . In the venue, I immediately went back on my
commitment not to do the rail, although it was to the side (Mike’s side) not
the centre, with all those real hardcore people. The boys went to the pit, and
I was left holding the posters, but damn it was really good. Eddie came to
within touching distance of us and I had mild palpitations. I sang and danced
all night and by the end of that gig, I had that deep feeling of happiness and
exhilaration that I would continue to feel for the rest of the tour.
The following morning, as the Pearl Jam rail express rolled from Dublin to Belfast,
our tired yet happy selves headed across the border with it. Time was short in Northern Ireland;
I was there for less than twenty four hours. En masse we checked into the
Premier Inn on Waring Street
and settled down to watch the England
footie match (the one we won!) and I already felt part of something special.
Everyone in the room in Belfast
knew it was great gig, the set list was fab and I saw nothing but smiles coming
out of that venue. Mine was a grin, total elation, as I had heard ‘State of Love and Trust’ live for
the first time; it really was like I’d won the lottery. It was this song that
got me into Pearl Jam about twenty years ago and I still love it, it’s my
favourite Pearl Jam song. Belfast
had an amazing effect on everyone that night; it was the 'sleeper' gig of the
tour.
And so to London,
which is where my previously maligned princess like tendencies came in useful,
well the plug sockets and the terrace balcony on my hotel room did at least!
However, geography got the better of me and I managed to get myself and the
boys lost on the way to the pre-party, when we arrived, most people had gone
and London the
24 hour city was closing at 11pm. The next day, we did make it to the British Museum for our sightseeing spot (and it
quickly became apparent one of us had an obsession with old pots!!).
Hyde Park Calling was a great gig, predominantly due to the fantastic people I
spent the gig with. Everyone around us thought we were mental, and to be honest
to anyone outside of this bizarre yet wonderful group, we are mental. I
understand why people don’t get it, in some ways nor do I! We formed a
collective at that gig, we made the atmosphere for ourselves and it was great. We
weren’t down the front or in the thick of it; we had space and a sort of
camaraderie between us all.
Whilst some people went off to Glastonbury and
others to Nijmegen, a few of us went straight to
Berlin with
blisters already forming on blisters.
I was unsure of Berlin
before I went; I had visions of a grey, dark place with a very structured
populous. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was a brilliant place, far beyond
expectation, and one I want to visit again. We visited museums, were amongst
hundreds of thousands of Germans when they beat us at football, went to a jazz
bar, ate good food, discovered German Maccies are better than English ones, got
pretty (very!) drunk on rum and cried at the Holocaust Memorial. It was hot but
you could stand it, and I can't remember feeling so happy and elated for such a
long time.
Other people began to join us in this marvellous city, the day before the
Wuhlheide gig, and so happened an impromptu gathering to watch football, drink
and chat. Not necessarily about the band, but of all sorts of things, which
made this group of people more than fans but friends (oh and of course I have
to mention the where’s Marco debacle).
The Berlin
gig was the hotly anticipated gig to go to, prior to the tour happening. It was
a Pearl Jam show, not a festival, in the most stunning outdoor setting, and
happened to be on the exact date of the Roskilde
tragedy, in which ten years before nine Pearl Jam fans had died.
This gig lived up to the hype and part of the feeling from that
night remains with me now. Despite being spread out amongst the venue, the
friends bonded previously, managed to spot each other and connect. We all felt
honoured to be there.
It was an emotional night, not just for the band, but also for those there, for
many personal reasons. My grandfather died a few months ago, a man who had been
a very large part of my life. I played ‘Light Years’ a lot around that time.
So, when the band struck the first cord of that song in Berlin, my eyes filled and I was very glad
to have sunglasses on so those around me couldn’t see my tears, but I think
they knew.
The night ended with drinks in the 10C bar and a very funny train ride back to
the city centre, oh and a 10C engagement!!
Stupid o’clock the following day, the few of us who had spent the extra time in
Berlin headed for a couple of days in Paris. The flight felt
like it lasted days, and when we emerged it felt like we’d walked into a blast
furnace. Hmmm... Paris
was hot and smelled, I didn’t much care for it, but it was the basis of some
conversations that had me crying with laughter. My friends at home had
commented about my going to the apparently the most romantic city in the world
with three lads I barely knew from the north, and you know what I couldn’t
think of three better people to be stuck in Paris with.
Arras was
calling swiftly, and so after an argument with a French rail ticket inspector,
I arrived in this very pretty town late in the evening. Most people were not
arriving until the day of the gig, so I had a relaxing time on my own, and
caught up on some sleep. This was to be the last gig for a lot of people
touring with me, so it was kind of poignant. Once again, we met, ate, drank,
chatted and watched football before heading to the venue. It was a interesting
setting, in a citadel, which is a UNESCO world heritage site. The gig was
great, and I thought some people may explode when the band played Baba O’Reilly
as the penultimate song of the night. The following goodbyes were hard, and it
hit me how close to this group of people I had become. As we went our separate
ways, I walked back to my hotel with tears streaming down my face, this group
of people, my friends, felt like a family and I was going to miss them.
I was going to another gig the following day, and as I waited at the train
station for a lift from another of the group (kindly dropping me and another to
Belgium on his way home to
the Netherlands)
I knew the Werchter gig would be different.
I was staying in Leuven, not a place I had
even considered as anything other than a place to sleep until I got there, and
realised it was a lovely place. However, time was short and it was off to the
festival. After a trek from the festival bus drop off point, I sheltered in the
shade of trees listening to the preceding bands. I managed to find some more
friends from the 10C group, a Scottish family travelling to watch the band
together, and so spent the rest of the day with them, what a great family they
are. It felt very strange to be at a gig without the boys, Yvi and the others,
somehow like I was cheating on them. But I made the most of it, with Alice in Chains, Them
Crooked Vultures and Arcade Fire on before PJ. I was very lucky to have my last
Pearl Jam gig of this tour end with Dave Grohl on stage at the same time (man,
can he play mean tambourine) and also a fireworks display. It seemed kind of
fitting that that was the end.
As I dragged my sorry and sore feet to the bus to Leuven,
I was beginning to think about the impact the last couple of weeks had had on
me.
The last leg of my journey was to Manchester,
not to see Pearl Jam but to see the Black Keys. I spent my free night, in the
city online talking to those I had been with previously (yes we are sad people);
I was shattered so didn’t mind not venturing out! I was secretly pleased to see
that we were all feeling the same level of depression and need to meet up
again.
Last night, was the Black Keys gig, and during the day yesterday I met an old
friend for lunch and some shoe porn in Selfridges and Harvey Nichols. I could
feel the excitement rise in my voice when she asked me about my trip, it felt
like I was about to explode with all the stories, anecdotes and feelings of the
last two weeks. Back at the hotel, I phoned home, to check about arrangements
for my journey from Newquay airport, and found myself waxing lyrical to my
fifteen year old brother, it’s probably the first time he’s heard me like that.
Mainly because it’s the first time I have felt this happy in a very long time.
The gig last night was good, the hugs from the boys and the sentiments with
which they spoke of the tour was enough for me. It was more about them than the
music come the end of the gig. Saying goodbye was short and sweet, as it was
more ‘til the next time, than goodbye. I still cried on my walk to my hotel
though.
And now I sit in this airport, writing on a pad I took from my hotel room,
waiting for my gate number, not wanting to leave. I have met so many good
people during this experience, ones who will remain part of my life I hope.
In addition to meeting new people, I have met someone I thought I had lost a
long time ago, me.
For a long time now I
have not thought very much of myself deep down. I rarely let my guard down,
sharing only parts of me with people; for fear that they will not like me or
will hurt me. On this tour I was accepted and liked with no prejudice, and I’ve
come away from this liking myself and who I am. Rediscovering feelings buried
within.
I have had too many good times in the last couple of weeks, they are becoming
indistinguishable in my head, all I know is, I think about the tour and smile!
To all those I met on tour, to those that helped me have the courage to go on
tour and to those I never met but made those gigs amazing – thank you.
Until the next time.....
