So shed your skin and let's get started...

So, the Eddie Vedder solo shows in Europe. They had been rumblings for a long time, they were dates and venues breeding in the rumour pit. The tour was expected to be announced when the EV ‘southern states’ tour was announced, but we in Europe had to wait a little while longer, but finally it was confirmed. 

The Pearl Jam tour was already planned and being paid for, I therefore made a decision to not got to the EV solo shows. I wouldn’t enter the ticket lottery, I wouldn’t go and I would just be pleased for those that could make the gigs. Besides, I am not a fan of Ukulele Songs, although I do love Into The Wild and Water on the Road was great (I have played Blackbird on repeat frequently).

As the ticket lottery deadline closed, it became apparent that most of my friends had entered and I went into a slow painful meltdown. Let's face it, of course I wanted to go, I wanted to see Eddie solo, to see him in a small venue, to see my friends. I had been silly in trying to kid myself. 

I went to all three gigs in the UK.  I have brilliant friends. (Special thanks to Kev and Jen)

With my elbow in pretty bad shape, I had to be careful but the gigs were seated and not raucous, so strapped up and armed with codeine I headed to Manchester. It was the day of the Olympic opening ceremony. I watched it on a big screen in the city centre, surrounded by all different nationalities and even got to see Frank Turner playing to what must be his biggest ever audience. 

Our rooms at Manchester University (good budget accommodation during the holidays!) were great other than my room lock (what is it with me and locks!). We made new friends in the pub before the gig and got soaked in the rain on the way to the venue. The Apollo had a lot to desire in terms of queuing/entrance and merchandise set up, it was abysmal. It’s a good job the poster was shockingly bad in my opinion.

We got in just in time to see Glen Hansard doing his slot. Unfortunately there were a small proportion of obnoxious people in the crowd, wittering away whilst Glen was trying to perform. It also wasn't a help that people were still coming in, trying to find seats and the doors to the bar were left open. All in all, not an auspicious start and Glen didn’t finish his planned set. When Eddie came on, people seemed to settle, but still there were people who can’t have a moment of quiet, why do they feel the need to shout and scream random stuff, I just don’t get it. 

I knew Ed would be good, but he was great! There were moments in that show which made my heart swell. I Am Mine, Tom Wait's Picture In A Frame, Off He Goes, Speed of Sound, Glen Hansard's Falling Slowly were just some of the highlights, and Arc - well, I don’t think I have the words. I had 10C seats with a friend at the front of the balcony and the view was great, I was so pleased I had changed my mind to go.

It was as always, brilliant, to see some of my closest friends at the gig. Saying goodbye to them at the train station was sad as I headed to London for the next gigs which they weren’t attending, mainly because I wasn’t sure when I’d see a few of them again. It turned out to be a few days later in the capital. Pearl Jam fans really are rabid! 

With the Olympics, everything in London was stupidly overpriced, hotels were especially so. I (and others) were very lucky to have a fairy god mother (and her family) who lives near Richmond and let us invade her house. 
Being part of this community really does make you feel proud, humble and happy. 

Glen Hansard had a really good reception at the shows  in London, I hope he took heart in that after Manchester. His voice has that old school deep emotional tone, one that can portray true angst and true love with ease – and yes that’s probably a rubbish description. I guess what I am trying to explain is that you can hear the warmth, honesty and integrity within him. His set, and when he joined Eddie on stage, were simply brilliant. The man deserves to be more acknowledged and known for the talent that he is. 

What’s great about gigs in London is being able to meet up with ‘virtual’ friends in person, often people can get to the capitol more easily than other places. I was able to gather promised hugs and provide promised drinks. It was good to see people who had been to different shows on the Pearl Jam tour, chat about their show experiences, I even assisted in freeing a trapped pigeon, certainly recounted the arm injury story and of course, purchased merchandise. (Hammersmith Apollo 1 - Manchester Apollo 0 on that!)
As I mentioned, some of my friends were only doing the Manchester gig, and some were only doing London. Oddly as fate had it, many ended up doing both cities in some way and for me, that was ace. I got to see more of them. I cherish my time with good people.

Eddie London night 1, didn’t quite meet Manchester for me. Maybe because he had already surpassed my expectations and I knew what I was in for. I knew that Arc would make me wibble, that the tone of his voice would give me shivers and that I would leave smiling (though I left without a poster as they sold out). It was a good show, but for me not a great show.

London night 2 was here, and I’ll admit it, I was wondering how I was going to feel. I knew it wouldn’t be disappointment, but I was wondering if two gigs was enough. I should never have had those thoughts. London night 2 was awesome. There was no ‘Arc’ but opening with Sometimes, hearing Eddie speak so comfortably, hearing other favourites such as Man of the Hour, Masters of War and Driftin’ left me assured that this gig, was the gig I needed to be at, this was why I needed to do these shows. Ed seemed so much more relaxed, his family were with him and his daughters even ventured on stage.
Other than Glen, there hadn’t been any special guests, until tonight. When Neil Finn came out to do ‘Throw Your Arms Around Me’ the gig took one of those, you had to be there turns, it was great to see and especially as I love the Crowded House cover of that song. 

Earlier in the evening, Eddie had spoken at length about The Who, even performing I’m One at the beginning of the first encore. He spoke with such passion, rather like me and my friends speak about Pearl Jam. After Neil Finn had been on stage, Ed’s guitar tech appeared to have a word with him, resulting in him briefly leaving the stage. He returned with a childish grin and to the right of the stage was Roger Daltrey. It was obviously ill prepared, but that's what made it special, it was great. Ed seemed in awe and just to be having so much fun. It was fantastic to witness, and his excitement passed through the crowd. There was an exhilaration in the audience, it was palpable. 

On top of the set and the guests,  I had third row seats, end of the centre block, with an amazing view of the stage...and the ability to get up and move to the front for the second encore. I did just that. As people moved forward allowed by security, I was amongst them. 
I am a rubbish rabid fan in some ways, I hate the idea of stalking the band, queuing all day for gigs, of waiting outside venues/hotels for them etc. I know others do it, and that is fine, but for me, I’m not comfortable with it. Therefore, my chances of meeting the band is pretty much nil. As Eddie came to front of the stage for a guitar solo, he was in touching distance, he was right in front of me (he is beautiful!). He mischievously looked out at the crowd, then down at the people gathered in front of him and slightly bent forward so his sweat dripped on us... nice! I might never get to meet him, but he has sweated on me!

I managed to get a few photos, on my phone. I hadn’t taken my proper camera to any of the gigs, only having one functioning arm and the threat of being thrown out if caught, had put me off. If I'd had it then I think they would have been awesome shots!

He came back over later, and ran across the front shaking/hitting everyone’s hands, I was lucky to be one of those people and that was sort of cool. 

I was definitely fooling myself in thinking I wouldn't go, I would never have forgiven myself for missing those gigs. 

Pour Some Sugar On Me...

Stockholm was always going to be an odd thing to write about, that’s maybe why it’s taken me so long to write about Berlin etc (see previous blog). 

When I split up with my ex* I wrote a list, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do. Not a checklist but just something to remind me of the dreams I once had which had been hidden and forgotten over the course of time. Stockholm was on this list.

The list features Stockholm, and I guess Sweden and other Scandinavian countries, probably as I have a vision of time in a cabin surrounded by a snowy landscape, with a log fire, good music, doing snow angels under the Aurora Borealis (if anyone wants to fulfill this and whisk me away then go right ahead!)  

I digress, once I decided to add Stockholm into my schedule I was really excited. It ‘s an expensive place but seemed a great place to end my time with this tour, and I got to see friends who weren’t doing the earlier shows. There was a sort of draft plan, time here was short so it seemed sensible to have an idea of what to do. It began with saying goodbyes to those friends leaving the tour in Germany, a short flight to Sweden, check in, find food and have a quiet night in order to recuperate from Berlin ready for the gig at the Globe Arena. Show day would involve sightseeing, the idea of a tour by boat had been mooted. 

So, yeah, that was the plan, the reality was somewhat different.

After some sad goodbyes in Berlin and time in very hot airport where the availability of liquid was next to nothing, it was a fairly short flight to Stockholm, with some stunning scenery. I was tired from the time in Berlin but looking forward to seeing somewhere new.

On arrival, my phone buzzed constantly from some friends who were already there and enjoying themselves. With some reservation and with the lack of food available at the hotel, the plans changed and off we trooped to a rock bar who were having an 80s hair metal night. The immediate reaction was it was busy, loud and I was pretty tired but the cider was nice, I could have drunk quite a lot of it I think. 

So, this is when things went awry. Friends were full of merriment and dancing on a stage/podium thing, when despite being sober, I joined them dancing for a giggle. Unfortunately, (during a Def Leppard song!) I slipped on a spilt drink, feet going forward and the rest of me heading backwards, into some weird overbalanced position. In doing so I managed to damage my elbow which upon being pulled back to standing was fairly obvious. I was kind of stunned with pain and right now it’s odd to be thinking about it, as it is all a bit of a blur. There was vaguely leaving the stage, sliding down a wall in the toilets then passing out, a concerned security guard, concerned friends, there was certainly intense pain, my arm not looking or feeling right and it was fairly quickly established that my suggestion of just taking ibuprofen wasn’t going to resolve the matter. (Really the lack of ability to move my arm, the incredible pain, the swelling and purple colour should have given me a hint!)

After that, it becomes even more of a blur, but I tried my best to keep it together. I failed, and if it wasn’t for some of the most amazing people I am lucky to call friends, I probably would be considerably worse off now. After a very long time in a Swedish A&E department, lots of x-rays and with my friends cold in a waiting room whilst I was merrily off my nut on the morphine and snuggled under blankets in a single room, the night progressed. I was released the next day, early in the morning with a diagnosis of a dislocated elbow, a possible chipped bone and extensive soft tissue damage. I tell you now, you do not realise how much you use your elbow, or the pain they can cause.

After some (odd painkiller induced) sleep, a distinct lack of any sightseeing, after picking up a morphine prescription and paying the hospital bill, we ventured to the gig. Yes, you read that correctly, we ventured to the gig. There were some discussions about if I should go, not only with the medics (who thought I was bizarre) but with friends too. For me there was no decision on this, I was going...and I went, it was my last show of the tour and the tickets were bloody expensive. However much I tried to hide it and cover it up, in reality I was in quite a lot of discomfort and a lot of pain, this and the subsequent morphine dose did somewhat cloud the experience, but I still enjoyed it.

It was great to be in the venue, to feel the excitement, to see the extraordinary tall people in the crowd and to hear All Those Yesterdays, Garden and Love Reign O’er Me. it’s always ace to hear State of Love and Trust and just generally to be with good people. I guess because of the other events the gig itself seemed overshadowed for me, but it was so good to see friends from the States enjoying the GA experience, the emotion in the room and friends I rarely see having a blast. 

That was the end of my Pearl Jam tour this year, and whilst some people carried on, and a friend unexpectedly and spontaneously decided to do the rest of the tour. I was homeward bound, after managing a sightseeing tour bus for a couple of hours before my flights so I did see something of the city, I headed for London. It was sad to end it that way, deep down I really wanted to carry on, to maintain my Pearl Jam fix, but in hindsight, it’s a good job I didn’t. 

I’ve said it to them in person, but my friends who stayed with me that night and then cared for me for the rest of the weekend, well I can’t say thank you enough and I truly appreciate it more than I can express. 

‘Til the next time....

I guess people might want to know what happened next with the elbow. On coming home and seeing my GP, I was referred to hospital here to see an orthopedic trauma consultant. Turns out an ibuprofen wouldn’t have fixed it and it’s a pretty bad injury. I was off work for seven weeks, am undertaking physiotherapy and have gone through various stages such as not being able to feel my fingers, use a knife and fork, touch my head/face, carry anything, do up buttons, put on socks, jewellery etc.  

Unfortunately for me the elbow is pretty much one of the worst parts of the body to injure, and so I will have some degree a loss of permanent movement/extension. It looks pretty weird, feels like a constant ache and I can’t do stuff as easily as I used to, but am becoming very adept at finding ways around things and there are improvements in what I can do all the time. I will still have to go to the hospital and physio for another few months at least. It could have been worse though! 

*I have had more than one relationship in my life, so have more than one ex boyfriend, but this guy is generally referred to as ‘my ex’ as we were together for almost 10 years.

Waves roll in my thoughts

I am a pretty rubbish blogger really, I must do better!

I guess I really ought to write these as the events happen. At the time I seem so caught up in everything that I don’t do it, and then once stuff is over, they seem really hard to write.

I did write a blog covering Manchester and Berlin, only to remember I’d already done Manchester, so it never got posted.

Berlin feels like an age ago, but it wasn’t really. Time just seems to vanish; I mean in general, I am far too often to be found thinking - where the hell has this year gone?

So, yes, anyway, Berlin, I love this city, if you’ve read any of my blogs before you might know this already. It always feels so welcoming and in a bizarre way, sort of reassuring. I always look forward to going there... though on this occasion when planning the trip I had considered Amsterdam instead. I’ve never been there, it's on the list for me to visit. The Amsterdam shows were before Berlin, a lot of friends were going and it turned out to effectively be a dream set list. The band let a fan choose the songs, just ace!

Anyway, I didn’t go to Amsterdam,  I opted for a return to beloved Berlin and this trip began from Bristol Airport (the last time I’d been there was for a hen weekend in Dublin..but that's not to be mentioned!) 
My best mate drove me up; it gave us a chance to have a good catch up on the way. I love her dearly, she is so supportive of my jaunts (even if she thinks I am mental).

I’ll be honest, I was pretty nervous going up to the airport, especially that the friend who was coming with me on this trip wouldn’t turn up. We’d arranged it all before we’d even met properly, yes, kind of daft when you think about it but we subsequently had met up and gotten along ok. Plus, I knew that other friends would be over there if he didn’t show or he just decided he hated me on arrival! (He did come, he didn't seem to hate me, so my panic was over!)

We had the most bizarre (and freaking expensive) taxi journey to the hotel. After checking in and getting sorted, we wandered up to the Brandenberg Gate to watch the football final, drink copious amounts of beer and cocktails, watch some amazing fireworks, undertake more drinking in a bar on Unter den Linden and then sway arm in arm back to the hotel. 

As fans began arriving in Berlin on the Monday, we chose to use most of the day sitting in a park, next to a fountain in front of the cathedral; before venturing to the Pergamon museum and then various pubs. It was a brilliant first day.

The following day the fan takeover of the city was in full flow, Pearl Jam t shirts seemed to be everywhere and I began to get that feeling of collective excitement. More friends appeared and so my phone began buzzing with texts and messages (thank god for Wi-Fi!)

We had plans involving records for the morning so after discovering a local vinyl shop we decided on a bar for lunch which would become an adopted ‘local’ for the rest of the time there. Eating steak for breakfast whilst listening to acoustic buskers (how many versions of hallelujah did we hear?) was from then on, a mainstay. I have never made any suggestion that I am a morning person, the hotel had a comfy bed and therefore getting up for hotel breakfasts didn’t occur once. I'd recommend The Restoration 1840 bar and restaurant in the Hackeschen Markt – please go there if in Berlin!
The rest of the afternoon ended up being spent in there.

Pre-parties are a strange beast; I usually enjoy them, but never feel entirely comfortable at them, really as a result of my own confidence issues rather than the events themselves. They can at times feel like there is some form of fan top trumps. Part of me wants to spend time with those I know the most, to catch up with those I rarely get to see and other parts of me wants to meet new people. These events are a chance to hopefully do those things, though sometimes I prefer the randomness of just bumping into people. The party venue was bizarre in a cool way, a fake beach bar next to the river and they did great tequila sunrises. Sitting by the water was lovely, my fixation with being near it remains even on holiday. It was great to see people, to meet ‘virtual’ friends though and there are some odd elements to that night (umm... that cigarette machine was never going to work whoever you were!)

Walking back to the hotel after missing the last train was somewhat reflective but ended up being just the right thing to do. (Thank goodness we stayed near the television tower, truly a beacon guiding us home!)

Berlin night 1 was on the 4^th July, the last time I’d spent Independence Day with Pearl Jam it had been in Belgium but this was a very different experience. I think most of us were on a high from Manchester 2 (or Amsterdam/Prague). The afternoon outside of the venue on the grass gave us enough relaxation combined with anticipation (and a discussion over if a bear was a bear).
There was the usual talk of what would be the opener/closer (both of which I guessed correctly – go me). The O2 was a new venue to us, previously the magical Wuhlheide had been used for PJ gigs in Berlin, so this place had a lot to live up to.

All of us have different songs we want to hear, different favourites and it is always brilliant to see the excitement of my friends and other fans as they get those tracks. That night I can just remember so many smiles, and one of the biggest signs I think I’ve seen, so if that was your organisation/planning – well done you!   
The set was great, loads of dancing, In My Tree was great and as I sit here thinking over it, I just can’t help but grin. It stays on my face even when remembering hugs at the end and being with my Scottish friends talking to random homeless men when searching for an after show party in a bar which was in front of us!

Berlin night 2, well, this gig was added to the tour programme, and in all honesty, there was no way I wasn’t going! I didn't really give my tour buddy much of a choice (sorry!). It was pretty much like night 1 in terms of the day of the gig, though it involved booze from Lidl and a park in the drizzle, then gardens of a hostel.

The one thing different, is that the ‘group’ grew as we were joined for the night by a friend who had flown out from the UK, after his love for the band was reignited by the Manchester shows. However, there were some ticket issues to resolve initially which caused concern and worry (bloody wristbands!). 
It’s strange, I can’t sum up this show, it was far more emotional than night 1. I mean, I was crying and pretty much absorbed by the music within seconds of the first song starting, Oceans, it was beautiful, it was special (and completed Ten for me!). Mother reduced one of us to a crumbling wreck, Blood completed Vs for me, and Baba, well it was an awesome Baba. 
It was a gig that was like being swept with a tide, there were waves of emotion that just kept on coming.

Back to the hostel and copious amounts of alcohol was consumed, accompanied by a lot of shushing, exploding bottles, Into The Wild poses and just messiness. It was bloody excellent.

The band seemed to create two perfect nights in those gigs. They were awesome, the interaction between each other on stage was great to see (and good to see that Matt was comfortable to even let his son join him), the sound was ace, the set lists brilliant and balanced. The crowds were amazing, really getting into the music. They were taking this journey with the musicians on and it created a brilliant atmosphere. It felt like being at a club gig... in an arena.

I didn’t want this trip to end.