Friday 21 September 2012

Pour Some Sugar On Me...



Stockholm was always going to be an odd thing to write about, that’s maybe why it’s taken me so long to write about Berlin etc (see previous blog). 

When I split up with my ex* I wrote a list, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do. Not a checklist but just something to remind me of the dreams I once had which had been hidden and forgotten over the course of time. Stockholm was on this list.
The list features Stockholm, and I guess Sweden and other Scandinavian countries, probably as I have a vision of time in a cabin surrounded by a snowy landscape, with a log fire, good music, doing snow angels under the Aurora Borealis (if anyone wants to fulfill this and whisk me away then go right ahead!)  

I digress, once I decided to add Stockholm into my schedule I was really excited. It ‘s an expensive place but seemed a great place to end my time with this tour, and I got to see friends who weren’t doing the earlier shows. There was a sort of draft plan, time here was short so it seemed sensible to have an idea of what to do. It began with saying goodbyes to those friends leaving the tour in Germany, a short flight to Sweden, check in, find food and have a quiet night in order to recuperate from Berlin ready for the gig at the Globe Arena. Show day would involve sightseeing, the idea of a tour by boat had been mooted. 

So, yeah, that was the plan, the reality was somewhat different.
After some sad goodbyes in Berlin and time in very hot airport where the availability of liquid was next to nothing, it was a fairly short flight to Stockholm, with some stunning scenery. I was tired from the time in Berlin but looking forward to seeing somewhere new.
On arrival, my phone buzzed constantly from some friends who were already there and enjoying themselves. With some reservation and with the lack of food available at the hotel, the plans changed and off we trooped to a rock bar who were having an 80s hair metal night. The immediate reaction was it was busy, loud and I was pretty tired but the cider was nice, I could have drunk quite a lot of it I think. 

So, this is when things went awry. Friends were full of merriment and dancing on a stage/podium thing, when despite being sober, I joined them dancing for a giggle. Unfortunately, (during a Def Leppard song!) I slipped on a spilt drink, feet going forward and the rest of me heading backwards, into some weird overbalanced position. In doing so I managed to damage my elbow which upon being pulled back to standing was fairly obvious. I was kind of stunned with pain and right now it’s odd to be thinking about it, as it is all a bit of a blur. There was vaguely leaving the stage, sliding down a wall in the toilets then passing out, a concerned security guard, concerned friends, there was certainly intense pain, my arm not looking or feeling right and it was fairly quickly established that my suggestion of just taking ibuprofen wasn’t going to resolve the matter. (Really the lack of ability to move my arm, the incredible pain, the swelling and purple colour should have given me a hint!)

After that, it becomes even more of a blur, but I tried my best to keep it together. I failed, and if it wasn’t for some of the most amazing people I am lucky to call friends, I probably would be considerably worse off now. After a very long time in a Swedish A&E department, lots of x-rays and with my friends cold in a waiting room whilst I was merrily off my nut on the morphine and snuggled under blankets in a single room, the night progressed. I was released the next day, early in the morning with a diagnosis of a dislocated elbow, a possible chipped bone and extensive soft tissue damage. I tell you now, you do not realise how much you use your elbow, or the pain they can cause.

After some (odd painkiller induced) sleep, a distinct lack of any sightseeing, after picking up a morphine prescription and paying the hospital bill, we ventured to the gig. Yes, you read that correctly, we ventured to the gig. There were some discussions about if I should go, not only with the medics (who thought I was bizarre) but with friends too. For me there was no decision on this, I was going...and I went, it was my last show of the tour and the tickets were bloody expensive. However much I tried to hide it and cover it up, in reality I was in quite a lot of discomfort and a lot of pain, this and the subsequent morphine dose did somewhat cloud the experience, but I still enjoyed it.
It was great to be in the venue, to feel the excitement, to see the extraordinary tall people in the crowd and to hear All Those Yesterdays, Garden and Love Reign O’er Me. it’s always ace to hear State of Love and Trust and just generally to be with good people. I guess because of the other events the gig itself seemed overshadowed for me, but it was so good to see friends from the States enjoying the GA experience, the emotion in the room and friends I rarely see having a blast. 

That was the end of my Pearl Jam tour this year, and whilst some people carried on, and a friend unexpectedly and spontaneously decided to do the rest of the tour. I was homeward bound, after managing a sightseeing tour bus for a couple of hours before my flights so I did see something of the city, I headed for London. It was sad to end it that way, deep down I really wanted to carry on, to maintain my Pearl Jam fix, but in hindsight, it’s a good job I didn’t. 

I’ve said it to them in person, but my friends who stayed with me that night and then cared for me for the rest of the weekend, well I can’t say thank you enough and I truly appreciate it more than I can express. 

‘Til the next time....



I guess people might want to know what happened next with the elbow. On coming home and seeing my GP, I was referred to hospital here to see an orthopedic trauma consultant. Turns out an ibuprofen wouldn’t have fixed it and it’s a pretty bad injury. I was off work for seven weeks, am undertaking physiotherapy and have gone through various stages such as not being able to feel my fingers, use a knife and fork, touch my head/face, carry anything, do up buttons, put on socks, jewellery etc.  
Unfortunately for me the elbow is pretty much one of the worst parts of the body to injure, and so I will have some degree a loss of permanent movement/extension. It looks pretty weird, feels like a constant ache and I can’t do stuff as easily as I used to, but am becoming very adept at finding ways around things and there are improvements in what I can do all the time. I will still have to go to the hospital and physio for another few months at least. It could have been worse though! 


*I have had more than one relationship in my life, so have more than one ex boyfriend, but this guy is generally referred to as ‘my ex’ as we were together for almost 10 years.

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